How to Write Chinese Wedding Invitation Envelopes | 喜帖信封寫法

Addressing chinese wedding invitation envelopes can be intimidating if you do not know what is the proper chinese title for your paternal grandmother’s sister’s husband or maternal grandmother’s elder brother.

But it is really simple. Just learn the proper chinese title for your relatives from the Three Generation Relationship Chart and follow these 3 steps.

1. For chinese wedding invitations, the guest name is written on the envelope only. The guest’s formal title will be used. Family friends and relatives are invited by the groom’s or bride’s parents. Only the groom’s and bride’s friends are invited by the young couple.

2. Remember to indicate if you are inviting the guest’s spouse 夫妇,伉俪 or whole family 阖府统请;. If you are inviting the whole family, then do follow up with the guest on how many seats to provide.

3. Usually “升” or “台升” is used after the name as a form of respect to the guest. “升” described the upward presentation of the invitation card from a lower position. “台” is an honorific reference for “brother”, used in polite language in the olden days to address one’s friend or acquaintance.

Examples,

for just the couple “XXX夫妇台升” ,
or for the whole family “XXX夫妇阖府统请”.

How to Write Chinese Wedding Invitation Envelopes

How to Write Chinese Wedding Invitation Envelopes

Who should you send invitations to?

In the past chinese extended family lived together under patriarchal rule. Chinese wedding invitations are issued by the groom’s or bride’s father under his father’s 奉严命 or mother’s order 奉慈命. Hence there is no need to issue invitations to his siblings, except to the husbands of his sisters.

Moreover, wedding banquets in the past were conducted at the residence so guests will just turn up during dinner time.

Nowadays, wedding banquets are usually held at restaurants or hotels and to prevent miscommunication, wedding invitations are also issued to the groom’s and bride’s paternal uncles.

Remember to use “家兄” meaning “brother within the family” (blood brother) before the brother’s name on the invitations’ envelope.

Depending on the family, a typical list of relatives the groom’s and bride’s father will issue invitations to are:

grandparent’s siblings,
parent’s siblings,
siblings,
married sisters’ husbands,
wife’s parents,
wife’s parents’ siblings,
wife’s siblings,
wife’s married sisters’ husbands,
son-in-law’s parents,
daughter-in-law’s parents,
cousins,
god-brothers and sisters,etc.

Addressing relatives related by marriage

For relatives related by marriage, such as the wife’s siblings, you can add “姻亲” before the chinese name to indicate your relationship to each other. The title for the person will be added either before or after the name.

For example, inviting the husband of one’s sister will be “姻亲XXX贤妹夫” or “姻亲贤妹夫XXX 先生”.

Find out how to address three generations of relatives on the wedding invitation envelopes. Refer to the Three Generation Relationship Chart- Grandparents, Parents and Siblings.

relationship_chart_for_invitation_envelope

Chinese Wedding Invitations Wording | 結婚喜帖內容

Chinese wedding invitations wording are vertical and read from right to left. Information for the groom will be presented first before information of the bride.

The chinese wedding invitation will include the following information as a minimum:

- the Gregorian calendar and chinese calendar dates, if available, for the wedding banquet,
- order of birth and names of the bride and groom,
- name of the parents,
- dinner venue,
- time for cocktail reception,
- time for dinner.

chinese_wedding_invitation_content

Chinese Wedding Invitation Content

Explanation [Chinese wording]

“After careful consideration [谨订], on such date of the Gregorian calendar [公历 / 阳历] and such date of the Chinese calendar [农历], on such day of the week [星期], our eldest son [长男], XY and our youngest daughter [幼女],XX will have their wedding ceremony [举行结婚典礼].

We will prepare food and drinks [敬备薄酌] in anticipation of your presence [光临].

By my father’s order[奉严命], Groom’s parents, and
By my mother’s order [奉慈命], Bride’s parents,
we are co-hosting the dinner [同敬约].

We apologize in advance for any shortcoming in our service [恕乏] and please be punctual [价催].

Address of dinner venue [席设,地点] and time [时间] for cocktail [迎宾酒会] and commencement of dinner [晋席] event.”
Things to amend:
1. Dates
2. Birth order and names of the bride and groom
3. Names of co-hosts or host
4. Indicate if grandparents of bride and groom are alive
5. Venue and Time

1.Dates

If you have selected auspicious dates for the events of the chinese wedding then you will naturally have the chinese calendar dates and the Gregorian dates handy. Otherwise, you can just print the Gregorian dates on your chinese wedding invitation.

I am no calendar expert but for a quick reference only, the chinese year begins on the following dates:

Gregorian, chinese zodiac animal, chinese year

22 Jan 2004, Monkey, 甲甲
9 Feb 2005, Rooster, 乙酉
29 Jan 2006, Dog, 丙戌
18 Feb 2007, Boar, 丁亥
7 Feb 2008, Rat, 戊子
26 Jan 2009, Ox, 己丑
10 Feb 2010, Tiger, 庚寅
3 Feb 2011, Rabbit, 辛卯
23 Jan 2012, Dragon, 壬辰
10 Feb 2013, Snake, 癸巳
31 Jan 2014, Horse, 甲午
19 Feb 2015, Ram, 乙未
9 Feb 2016, Monkey, 丙甲
28 Jan 2017, Rooster, 丁酉
16 Feb 2018, Dog, 戊戌
5 Feb 2019, Boar, 己亥
25 Jan 2020, Rat, 庚子

For the both the Gregorian calendar [公历 / 阳历] Chinese calendar, fill in year before [年] month before [月] and date before [日].

The twelve months are:
January, 一月
February, 二月
March, 三月
April, 四月
May, 五月
June, 六月
July, 七月
August,八月
September, 九月
October, 十月
November, 十一月
December, 十二月

The dates are:
1st 一日
2nd 二日
3rd 三日
4th 四日
5th 五日
6th 六日
7th 七日
8th 八日
9th 九日
10th 十日
11th 十一日
12th 十二日
13th 十三日
14th 十四日
15th 十五日
16th 十六日
17th 十七日
18th 十八日
19th 十九日
20th 二十日
21st 二十一日
22nd 二十二日
23rd 二十三日
24th 二十四日
25th 二十五日
26th 二十六日
27th 二十七日
28th 二十八日
29th 二十九日
30th 三十日
31st 三十一日

The days of the week are:
Monday 星期一
Tuesday 星期二
Wednesday 星期三
Thursday 星期四
Friday 星期五
Saturday 星期六
Sunday 星期日 or 星期天

2.Birth order and names of the bride and groom

The wording for addressing the bride and groom on the invitation will depend on who is hosting the wedding banquet.

If the wedding banquet is co-hosted by the parents, the names of the bride and groom are usually written without the surname.

If the parents have both passed away, then an elder member usually on the paternal side such as the father’s sibling or even an elder brother of the bride and groom may host the wedding banquet.

When the dinner is hosted by parents the order of birth of the bride [女] and groom [男] will be mentioned.

Order of birth:
Eldest- 长
Second- 次
Third- 三
Fourth- 四
Fifth- 伍
Sixth- 六
Seventh- 七
Eight- 八
Ninth- 九
Tenth- 拾
Youngest- 幼

If hosted by one of the paternal grandparent [祖父母] the birth order and name of the late father, in addition to the bride or groom’s birth order may be stated. E.g. my late eldest son xx’s eldest daughter xy [已故长子xx之长女xy].

If there is no wish to mention if the father is alive or not, then simply state that bride or groom is the host’s granddaughter [内孙女] or grandson [内孙].

If hosted by the paternal uncle, and there is no wish to mention if the father is alive or not, then simply state that bride or groom is the host’s niece [侄女] or nephew [侄儿].

If hosted by an elder brother, simply state the bride or groom’s position in relation to the host, e.g. second sister [次妹] or second brother [次弟].

3. Names of co-hosts or host

If both parents are alive, the chinese equivalent of “Mr & Mrs” [夫妇] will be used.

If only the father is alive, use Mister [先生] after the parent’s name.

If only the mother is alive, use the mother’s married name followed by [女士]. See this pdf file, Chinese wedding invitation wording co-host by bride’s mum only
for sample.

Married name is the maiden name with the addition of the husband’s surname. For example [张陈细妹女士] where [陈细妹] is the maiden name and the husband’s surname is [张]

If the mother is not using the husband’s surname, then remember to add the surname before the bride’s or groom’s name.

Co-hosted

If the wedding banquet is paid jointly by the bride and groom’s family, then the invitation will have the names of both set of parents appearing before the phrase co-hosted [同敬约].

Hosted by groom’s parents only

In many cases, the bride’s parents may choose to invite only the closest of relatives and friends to the wedding dinner utilizing only the number of tables included as part of the betrothal gifts. In such cases, only the groom’s parents name will appear before hosted [敬约].

In addition, the bride’s name will not be written side by side with the groom’s. Her parent’s name will be inserted after the groom’s name and before her name.

4. Indicate if grandparents of bride and groom are alive

If the grandparents of the bride and groom are alive, then it will be mentioned above the names of the parents.

If the grandfather is alive, it will state [奉严命]. If only the grandmother is alive, then it will state [奉慈命]. If both the grandparents have passed away, then it is left blank.

5. Venue and Time
Unless chinese is used regularly as part of the address system in the country it may be more confusing than helpful when included.

Include a location map whenever you can. Remember to state the ballroom or hall for the wedding banquet especially if there are a few within the same venue.

The commencement time for cocktails, dinner and any other events should be clearly stated.

Now that you know how to write your own chinese wedding invitations, learn to address the chinese wedding invitation envelopes.

Provided by www.chinese-wedding-guide.com

Auspicious Wedding dates 2012

You may probably know that Chinese people usually choose an ausipicious date for the wedding. Choosing a good date for marriage will bring fortune and luck to both the couples and the two families involved. As a result, choosing the date becomes a very important issue.

2012 is the year of dragon in the Chinese calendar. Here is a list of 2012 auspicious wedding dates. You can also take it as a reference when you are thinking about your big day.

Auspicious Wedding dates 2012

Month Day Chinese Calendar Chong Evil (沖煞)
2012/01/05 Thu 農曆12月(小)12日 沖羊(己未)煞東
2012/01/07 Sat 農曆12月(小)14日 沖鶏(辛酉)煞西
2012/01/09 Mon 農曆12月(小)16日 沖猪(癸亥)煞東
2012/01/10 Tue 農曆12月(小)17日 沖鼠(甲子)煞北
2012/01/12 Thu 農曆12月(小)19日 沖虎(丙寅)煞南
2012/01/14 Sat 農曆12月(小)21日 沖龍(戊辰)煞北
2012/01/15 Sun 農曆12月(小)22日 沖蛇(己已)煞西
2012/01/19 Thu 農曆12月(小)26日 沖鶏(癸酉)煞西
2012/01/21 Sat 農曆12月(小)28日 沖猪(乙亥)煞東
2012/01/22 Sun 農曆12月(小)29日 沖鼠(丙子)煞北
2012/01/24 Tue 農曆01月(大)02日 沖虎(戊寅)煞南
2012/01/31 Tue 農曆01月(大)09日 沖鶏(乙酉)煞西
2012/02/02 Thu 農曆01月(大)11日 沖猪(丁亥)煞東
2012/02/03 Fri 農曆01月(大)12日 沖鼠(戊子)煞北
2012/02/04 Sat 農曆01月(大)13日 沖牛(己醜)煞西
2012/02/06 Mon 農曆01月(大)15日 沖兔(辛卯)煞東
2012/02/12 Sun 農曆01月(大)21日 沖鶏(丁酉)煞西
2012/02/13 Mon 農曆01月(大)22日 沖狗(戊戍)煞南
2012/02/16 Thu 農曆01月(大)25日 沖牛(辛醜)煞西
2012/02/21 Tue 農曆01月(大)30日 沖馬(丙午)煞南
2012/02/24 Fri 農曆02月(小)03日 沖鶏(己酉)煞西
2012/02/25 Sat 農曆02月(小)04日 沖狗(庚戍)煞南
2012/02/28 Tue 農曆02月(小)07日 沖牛(癸醜)煞西
2012/03/04 Sun 農曆02月(小)12日 沖馬(戊午)煞南
2012/03/05 Mon 農曆02月(小)13日 沖羊(己未)煞東
2012/03/11 Sun 農曆02月(小)19日 沖牛(乙丑)煞西
2012/03/14 Wed 農曆02月(小)22日 沖龍(戊辰)煞北
2012/03/16 Fri 農曆02月(小)24日 沖馬(庚午)煞南
2012/03/19 Mon 農曆02月(小)27日 沖鶏(癸酉)煞西
2012/03/22 Thu 農曆03月(大)01日 沖鼠(丙子)煞北
2012/03/24 Sat 農曆03月(大)03日 沖虎(戊寅)煞南
2012/03/26 Mon 農曆03月(大)05日 沖龍(庚辰)煞北
2012/03/28 Wed 農曆03月(大)07日 沖馬(壬午)煞南
2012/03/29 Thu 農曆03月(大)08日 沖羊(癸未)煞東
2012/03/31 Sat 農曆03月(大)10日 沖鶏(乙酉)煞西
2012/04/03 Tue 農曆03月(大)13日 沖鼠(戊子)煞北
2012/04/06 Fri 農曆03月(大)16日 沖兔(辛卯)煞東
2012/04/11 Wed 農曆03月(大)21日 沖猴(丙申)煞北
2012/04/12 Thu 農曆03月(大)22日 沖鶏(丁酉)煞西
2012/04/15 Sun 農曆03月(大)25日 沖鼠(庚子)煞北
2012/04/23 Mon 農曆04月(大)03日 沖猴(戊申)煞北
2012/04/27 Fri 農曆04月(大)07日 沖鼠(壬子)煞北
2012/05/05 Sat 農曆04月(大)15日 沖猴(庚申)煞北
2012/05/07 Mon 農曆04月(大)17日 沖狗(壬戍)煞南
2012/05/09 Wed 農曆04月(大)19日 沖鼠(甲子)煞北
2012/05/12 Sat 農曆04月(大)22日 沖兔(丁卯)煞東
2012/05/15 Tue 農曆04月(大)25日 沖馬(庚午)煞南
2012/05/18 Fri 農曆04月(大)28日 沖鶏(癸酉)煞西
2012/05/19 Sat 農曆04月(大)29日 沖狗(甲戍)煞南
2012/05/24 Thu 農曆04月(潤)04日 沖兔(己卯)煞東
2012/05/25 Fri 農曆04月(潤)05日 沖龍(庚辰)煞北
2012/05/27 Sun 農曆04月(潤)07日 沖馬(壬午)煞南
2012/05/31 Thu 農曆04月(潤)11日 沖狗(丙戍)煞南
2012/06/02 Sat 農曆04月(潤)13日 沖鼠(戊子)煞北
2012/06/04 Mon 農曆04月(潤)15日 沖虎(庚寅)煞南
2012/06/05 Tue 農曆04月(潤)16日 沖兔(辛卯)煞東
2012/06/06 Wed 農曆04月(潤)17日 沖龍(壬辰)煞北
2012/06/09 Sat 農曆04月(潤)20日 沖羊(乙未)煞東
2012/06/12 Tue 農曆04月(潤)23日 沖狗(戊戍)煞南
2012/06/13 Wed 農曆04月(潤)24日 沖猪(己亥)煞東
2012/06/15 Fri 農曆04月(潤)26日 沖牛(辛醜)煞西
2012/06/18 Mon 農曆04月(潤)29日 沖龍(甲辰)煞北
2012/06/27 Wed 農曆05月(大)09日 沖牛(癸醜)煞西
2012/06/28 Thu 農曆05月(大)10日 沖虎(甲寅)煞南
2012/06/29 Fri 農曆05月(大)11日 沖兔(乙卯)煞東
2012/06/30 Sat 農曆05月(大)12日 沖龍(丙辰)煞北
2012/07/07 Sat 農曆05月(大)19日 沖猪(癸亥)煞東
2012/07/09 Mon 農曆05月(大)21日 沖牛(乙丑)煞西
2012/07/10 Tue 農曆05月(大)22日 沖虎(丙寅)煞南
2012/07/11 Wed 農曆05月(大)23日 沖兔(丁卯)煞東
2012/07/12 Thu 農曆05月(大)24日 沖龍(戊辰)煞北
2012/07/16 Mon 農曆05月(大)28日 沖猴(壬申)煞北
2012/07/17 Tue 農曆05月(大)29日 沖鶏(癸酉)煞西
2012/07/22 Sun 農曆06月(小)04日 沖虎(戊寅)煞南
2012/07/23 Mon 農曆06月(小)05日 沖兔(己卯)煞東
2012/07/28 Sat 農曆06月(小)10日 沖猴(甲申)煞北
2012/07/29 Sun 農曆06月(小)11日 沖鶏(乙酉)煞西
2012/07/31 Tue 農曆06月(小)13日 沖猪(丁亥)煞東
2012/08/02 Thu 農曆06月(小)15日 沖牛(己醜)煞西
2012/08/04 Sat 農曆06月(小)17日 沖兔(辛卯)煞東
2012/08/05 Sun 農曆06月(小)18日 沖龍(壬辰)煞北
2012/08/07 Tue 農曆06月(小)20日 沖馬(甲午)煞南
2012/08/10 Fri 農曆06月(小)23日 沖鶏(丁酉)煞西
2012/08/11 Sat 農曆06月(小)24日 沖狗(戊戍)煞南
2012/08/13 Mon 農曆06月(小)26日 沖鼠(庚子)煞北
2012/08/14 Tue 農曆06月(小)27日 沖牛(辛醜)煞西
2012/08/23 Thu 農曆07月(大)07日 沖狗(庚戍)煞南
2012/08/25 Sat 農曆07月(大)09日 沖鼠(壬子)煞北
2012/08/31 Fri 農曆07月(大)15日 沖馬(戊午)煞南
2012/09/03 Mon 農曆07月(大)18日 沖鶏(辛酉)煞西
2012/09/05 Wed 農曆07月(大)20日 沖猪(癸亥)煞東
2012/09/06 Thu 農曆07月(大)21日 沖鼠(甲子)煞北
2012/09/08 Sat 農曆07月(大)23日 沖虎(丙寅)煞南
2012/09/13 Thu 農曆07月(大)28日 沖羊(辛未)煞東
2012/09/16 Sun 農曆08月(小)01日 沖狗(甲戍)煞南
2012/09/18 Tue 農曆08月(小)03日 沖鼠(丙子)煞北
2012/09/20 Thu 農曆08月(小)05日 沖虎(戊寅)煞南
2012/09/22 Sat 農曆08月(小)07日 沖龍(庚辰)煞北
2012/09/25 Tue 農曆08月(小)10日 沖羊(癸未)煞東
2012/09/28 Fri 農曆08月(小)13日 沖狗(丙戍)煞南
2012/09/30 Sun 農曆08月(小)15日 沖鼠(戊子)煞北
2012/10/02 Tue 農曆08月(小)17日 沖虎(庚寅)煞南
2012/10/04 Thu 農曆08月(小)19日 沖龍(壬辰)煞北
2012/10/09 Tue 農曆08月(小)24日 沖鶏(丁酉)煞西
2012/10/12 Fri 農曆08月(小)27日 沖鼠(庚子)煞北
2012/10/16 Tue 農曆09月(大)02日 沖龍(甲辰)煞北
2012/10/23 Tue 農曆09月(大)09日 沖猪(辛亥)煞東
2012/10/24 Wed 農曆09月(大)10日 沖鼠(壬子)煞北
2012/10/25 Thu 農曆09月(大)11日 沖牛(癸醜)煞西
2012/10/26 Fri 農曆09月(大)12日 沖虎(甲寅)煞南
2012/10/27 Sat 農曆09月(大)13日 沖兔(乙卯)煞東
2012/11/02 Fri 農曆09月(大)19日 沖鶏(辛酉)煞西
2012/11/05 Mon 農曆09月(大)22日 沖鼠(甲子)煞北
2012/11/11 Sun 農曆09月(大)28日 沖馬(庚午)煞南
2012/11/14 Wed 農曆10月(小)01日 沖鶏(癸酉)煞西
2012/11/17 Sat 農曆10月(小)04日 沖鼠(丙子)煞北
2012/11/23 Fri 農曆10月(小)10日 沖馬(壬午)煞南
2012/11/25 Sun 農曆10月(小)12日 沖猴(甲申)煞北
2012/11/26 Mon 農曆10月(小)13日 沖鶏(乙酉)煞西
2012/11/29 Thu 農曆10月(小)16日 沖鼠(戊子)煞北
2012/12/02 Sun 農曆10月(小)19日 沖兔(辛卯)煞東
2012/12/03 Mon 農曆10月(小)20日 沖龍(壬辰)煞北
2012/12/05 Wed 農曆10月(小)22日 沖馬(甲午)煞南
2012/12/06 Thu 農曆10月(小)23日 沖羊(乙未)煞東
2012/12/10 Mon 農曆10月(小)27日 沖猪(己亥)煞東
2012/12/18 Tue 農曆11月(大)06日 沖羊(丁未)煞東
2012/12/30 Sun 農曆11月(大)18日 沖羊(己未)煞東

Check the auspicious timing for wedding dates

Some people also want an auspicious timing for events such as fetching the bride and entering the groom’s home.

Check the auspicious rating under “今天时辰吉凶”. The timings are listed as 吉 auspicious timing, 中 neutral timing and 凶 fierce or bad timing. Choose those that are 吉 or 中 and avoid timing listed as 凶.

The chinese timing are divided into 12 periods, each 2 hours long. The chinese day commence at 11 pm the night before. These are the corresponding time:
Earthly Branch Chinese zodiac Hours in a day

  Earthly Branch Chinese zodiac Hours in a day
1 子 (Zǐ) Rat 11pm-1am
2 丑 (Chǒu) Ox 1am-3am
3 寅 (Yín) Tiger 3am-5am
4 卯 (Mǎo) Rabbit 5am-7am
5 辰 (Chén) Dragon 7am-9am
6 巳 (Sì) Snake 9am-11am
7 午 (Wǔ) Horse 11am-1pm
8 未 (Wèi) Sheep 1pm-3pm
9 申 (Shēn) Monkey 3pm-5pm
10 酉 (Yǒu) Rooster 5pm-7pm
11 戌 (Xū) Dog 7pm-9pm
12 亥 (Hài) Pig 9pm-11pm

Chinese wedding day program

Prepare it!

Prepare the chinese wedding day program based on discussions with the bride’s and groom’s parents. Include the wedding coordinator when finalizing the wedding day schedule.

Allow some buffer time in the schedule to allow for unforseen delays such as traffic jams, detours required or having to socialise longer at any of the stops.

Include important information such as:

  • Bride’s and groom’s home address and contact numbers,
  • contact numbers for helpers, including bridesmaids and bestmen, driver, photograpger, videographer, beautician, etc.,
  • contact numbers for other suppliers,and
  • any auspicious timing to observe.

Distribute it!

Distribute the chinese wedding day program to key persons such as the parents, the bride’s and groom’s siblings who are helping, and all the bridesmaids and bestmen.

Ask one of the bridesmaids or bestmen to be the wedding coordinator. The wedding coordinator will communicate with the various parties and ensure that timing on the schedule is observed.


How much power should you give the wedding coordinator?

Some couples may empower the coordinator to endorse variations to the schedule on the actual day due to unforseen circumstances.

Some may even let them decide on issues such as ordering additional crates of beer, wine, liqour, increasing or reducing number of banquet tables depending on the attendance, etc.

My cousin and brother-in-law were the wedding coordinators for my wedding. They were empowered to decide on all matters relating to the day’s schedule and the wedding banquet.

During the rest period between the wedding ceremony and the wedding banquet, they were so exhausted they were totally zonked out, while my groom and I sneaked out for a tea break at the mall next to the hotel. :-P


Suggested chinese wedding day program:

Time Bride Groom
5 am Sibling Feast -
5.30 am Hair & bridal makeup -
6.00am - Normal breakfast
6.45am Photographer/ videographer to arrive. Bestmen/ brother’s troop to arrive.

  • decorate brothers’ car
  • distribute buttonelles.
7.00am Bridesmaids/sisters’ troop to arrive. Back-up photographer/video-grapher to arrive.
Leave to fetch the bride.
Bring:

  • red tray with raw meat (or canned pork legs), oranges, dried longan, red dates and lotus seeds.
  • gifts for bride and in-laws, if any.
7.20am Parents to veil the bride. -
7.30am Arrival at bride’s home -
Time All Remarks
7.30am Fetch the bride activities:

  • bride’s younger brother to open car door for groom,
  • blocking the door,
  • morning tea and sweet soup,
  • lifting the veil,
  • leave for groom’s home.
Bride’s younger brother to give 2 oranges to groom before opening car door.
Groom to give red packet to younger brother after opening car door.

Bring:

  • tea set for tea ceremony,
  • gowns/ kwa for changing,
  • shoes/jewellery,
  • make-up.
8.30am Enter the groom’s home.

  • serve snacks and sweet soup.
Enter groom’s home before 9 am.
9.15am Outdoor photo session/visit couple’s new residence. -
10.30am Tea ceremony
Delivery of roast pig.
Bridal car to pick up bride’s younger brother.
11.00am Arrival of bride’s younger brother for bride’s home visit.
Lunch
Bride’s younger brother to bring wedding basket filled with toiletries ( also called flower or oil basket).
11.30am Bride to change for home visit. Groom to remove veil for bride.
11.45am Bride leave for home visit. Bride’s younger brother will also ride in bridal car.
Bring roast pig/ peanut candies or rice candies.
12.15pm Lunch at bride’s side.
Tea ceremony at bride’s side.
-
1.30pm Return to groom’s home or go to church or check into hotel. Bring back head and tail of roast pig and other return gifts.
Bring wedding and evening gowns and other things needed for the wedding banquet to the hotel.
2pm to 4 pm Rest and relax/ or church wedding. -
4.30pm Get ready for the wedding banquet. -
6.00pm Final briefing for the wedding banquet. -
7.00pm Cocktail reception/ Wedding banquet commences. -
Contact information:
Bride’s address/telephone:

Groom’s address/telephone:

Bridesmaids’ telephones:
a)
b)

Bestmens’ telephones:
a)
b)

Driver’s telephone:

Photographers telephone:

Beautician’s telephone:

Caterer’s telephone:

Florist’s telephone:

Hotel’s telephone:

Banquet manager’s telephone:

Musician’s telephone:

Now that you have an idea of the suggested chinese wedding day program, you may want to review the suggested timeline for the chinese wedding.

The timeline for the chinese wedding begins with…

Proposal/ Decision to get married

He has proposed! You’re going to get married!

1. Announcement

There’s always someone to tell! Who shall hear it first? Your best friends or your Mum?

To your Mum, THIS is the official start of timeline for the chinese wedding…

2. Selection of auspicious dates
Auspicious dates are required for the chinese wedding, the betrothal and installation of the bridal bed.

3. Book the wedding banquet

Chinese wedding dinner setting

Chinese wedding dinner setting

You may need to book up to a year in advance if the dinner venue is popular or the date of the wedding banquet is either very auspicious or popular.

4. Book the bridal studio wedding package

It is very popular for chinese couples in South East Asia, Taiwan and China to produce a whole album of bridal photographs professionally.

The bridal studios will provide complete wedding packages from wedding gowns to wedding car rental.


Two and a half months prior to chinese wedding

1. Prepare chinese wedding invitations

chinese wedding invitation

chinese wedding invitation

If you are not satisfied with the wedding invitation cards provided in the wedding banquet package or there is none, you will need to source for the cards yourself.


One month prior to chinese wedding

1. Betrothal

Groom and friend or a matchmaker, if one was required by the bride’s parents, will deliver the betrothal gifts on the auspicious date chosen.

2. Distribution of chinese wedding invitation

After the betrothal, the chinese wedding invitations are distributed. It is also acceptable to distribute chinese wedding invitations by post.


One to two weeks prior to the chinese wedding

1. Brief helpers for the various wedding events.

2. Confirm attendance at the various wedding events.

3. Confirm booking details with:
- hotel or restaurant for wedding banquet
- bridal studio
- church
- caterers


One week prior to chinese wedding

1. Install the bridal bed

persimmonlotusdateslongan A good fortune woman will install the bridal bed in the bridal room or the couple’s new home.
2. Deliver the dowry

The bride’s parents will deliver the dowry to the bridal room or the couple’s new home.


The day before the chinese wedding

1. Collection of stuff needed

a. wedding gown, dinner gown, chinese wedding kwa, groom’s suits and dinner jackets,
b. wedding veils and bridal accessories,
c. bridal bouquets and buttonelles,
d. car decorations for bridal convoy, etc

2. Hair combing ceremony
Good fortune women will conduct this ceremony for the bride and groom in their respective homes the night before the chinese wedding.

3. Put up chinese wedding decorations

chinese weddnig paper cutting

chinese weddnig paper cutting

4. Set up the dragon and phoenix candles

Bride’s side will set up the two dragons and Groom’s side the two phoenix candles.


Chinese wedding day

In the wee hours of the morning, as early as four am, the bride will eat rice with her siblings and parents. This is a farewell meal, the last meal taken at her parents home before she is married off. In chinese beliefs, the bride belongs to the husband family after marriage.

Click on the sample chinese wedding day program for the events of the wedding day.

Click NOW!- a sample chinese wedding day program.


Toasting at wedding banquet

Toasting at wedding banquet

Chinese wedding banquet

The chinese wedding banquet may be on the same night as the chinese wedding day or on a different night.


End of the timeline for the chinese wedding… after so much hardwork, you really deserve that honeymoon!

Want to use the Chinese calendar to find an auspicious date?

Such a dilemma! You don’t want to consult the temple medium or fortune teller for an auspicious date. Perhaps you think it is too superstitious to believe a date will have any effect on your wedded bliss.

Perhaps you are a Christian but your parents are not. They think it is most important that they select an auspicious date to ensure a successful marriage for you. They feel you are ungracious for objecting to their kind intentions.


If you are a Christian, what is a suitable middle ground?

There really isn’t any good or easy answer. Perhaps there should not be any middle ground. It is too fine a line to tread. But such is life when you and your loved ones have different beliefs.

You need to choose your battlefronts. I think it is really up to your personal conviction.

I am a Christian, my parent’s are not. When I got married, our compromise was to select a date using the chinese calendar.

chinese calendar

chinese calendar


Choosing a date using the chinese calendar

No consulting of temple medium, and no reference to specifics of our birthdates and times.

To me, it was just choosing a date out of the chinese calendar, like picking out a date on a weekend or public holiday. To my parents, they were able to avoid really “disastrous” dates on which no weddings should take place.

Whatever your reasons, if you need to use the chinese calendar to find an auspicious date, here is a simple guide on how to read it without going into fengshui/chinese astrology stuff. (I wouldn’t know how to even if I wanted to. ^_^;


So what’s on the chinese calendar?

Usually, the chinese calendar contains:

  • top, showing the Gregorian month,
  • body, showing the Gregorian date,
  • middle, showing the chinese date and the day of the week, and
  • bottom, showing the fengshui/chinese astrology information.
chinese calendar almanac info

chinese calendar almanac info


Chinese wise sayings

Wise sayings are usually printed along the two sides of chinese calendar. They can be quite enlightening. Here’s one that I like, ”欲人无闻,莫若勿言。欲人勿知,莫若勿写。”which means “If you do not want others to hear, don’t say. If you do not want others to know, don’t write”.


Basic terminology

Here are the chinese words related to wedding events on the chinese calendar:

嫁娶 – Wedding day
结婚纳彩/采 – Betrothal
安床 – Install bridal bed

Auspicious rating:
宜(yi) – good for
忌(ji) – bad for / to avoid
吉(ji) – auspicious timing
中(zhong)- neutral timing
凶(xiong)- fierce/ bad timing


Choosing the auspicious date

2 ways to go about it:

  • choose the Gregorian date for your event, then check if it is auspicious, or
  • find all the auspicious chinese dates, then decide on the Gregorian dates within these.

To determine if the date is auspicious, read the sub-sections, titled 宜(yi) which list the favorable activities for the day, and 忌(ji), activities to be avoided.

Locate the corresponding term for wedding event Wedding day 嫁娶, Betrothal 结婚纳彩/采 or install bridal bed 安床 under 宜 or 忌.

If found under 宜, it’s a good date for that event, if 忌, don’t select that date. The date is neutral for that event if nothing is mentioned.

Important note: Certain days are not favorable for all joyous events and are listed as “不宜诸吉事” under the 宜 section. For such an unfavorable day, 忌 section will also list 吉事 meaning to avoid all joyous events.


Check the auspicious timing

Some people also want an auspicious timing for events such as fetching the bride and entering the groom’s home.

Check the auspicious rating under “今天时辰吉凶”. The timings are listed as 吉 auspicious timing, 中 neutral timing and 凶 fierce or bad timing. Choose those that are 吉 or 中 and avoid timing listed as 凶.

The chinese timing are divided into 12 periods, each 2 hours long. The chinese day commence at 11 pm the night before. These are the corresponding time:

Chinese periods Hours
子(zi) 11pm to 1 am
丑(chou) 1am to 3 am
寅(yin) 3am to 5 am
卯(mao) 5am to 7am
辰(chen) 7am to 9am
巳(si) 9am to 11am
午(wu) 11am to 1pm
未(wei) 1pm to 3pm
申(shen) 3pm to 5pm
酉(you) 5pm to 7pm
戌(xu) 7pm to 9pm
亥(hai) 9pm to 11pm

Learn more about the history of the Chinese Calendar from WebExhibits.org.


What about chinese horoscope?

The chinese horoscope that “clashes” on that date is listed with the age under a section titled 每日相煞. Under 生年相冲 the other years of the same horoscope that also “clashes” is listed. It is interesting to note that not all the years of the same horoscope is listed as “clashes”. It is a mystery to me and I’ll leave it at that.


Not sure what is your chinese horoscope?

No worries, just click here to find out what is your chinese horoscope.

Traditional chinese wedding ceremony

Heaven and earth shall witness your marriage.

The three prayers of the traditional chinese wedding ceremony contained elements of Taoism.

The chinese were mainly Taoists or ancestor worshipers before foreign religions such as Christianity, Muslim or Buddhism entered ancient China.

Taoists believed in the power of heaven and earth to witness important events on earth. It was also believed that a parent or family elder must acknowledge a union for it to be official.

An official at the wedding would direct the bride and groom to pray to heaven and earth first, then to the groom parents or family elders and lastly to bow to each other.

The official would then declared the ceremony completed successfully and asked the wedding guests to escort the couple into the bridal chamber, the equivalent of the bridal room, to consummate their marriage.


What about modern chinese wedding ceremony?

Modern chinese wedding usually skip the ancient ritual of the three prayers.

The bride and groom will enter the bridal room directly after entering the groom’s home. After the family members have returned to the family hall, the couple will join them.

If the bride and groom are ancestors worshipers, they will pray to the groom’s ancestors and family gods at this time.

This will be followed by the tea ceremony when most of the relatives are present.

Otherwise, if time permits, the bridal party may go for outdoor photography session or visit the wedding couple’s new home before the tea ceremony.

Click here to check out a sample chinese wedding day program.

wedding tea ceremony

wedding tea ceremony

Without the traditional three prayers, the tea ceremony is the most significant event in the modern chinese wedding ceremony.


The chinese bridal bed (安床)

Choose good quality bed sheets as you are going to spend time on it!

Traditionally, chinese bridal bed sheets were red or pink embroidered with dragon and phoenix in gold threads, or with flowers such as peony or magnolias. Due to western influence, modern young chinese prefer modern designs in softer color such as pink, cream or lavender.

Mourning colors such as black, blue, grey should be avoided for bridal bed. Chrysanthemums are avoided as they are used for chinese funerals.

The designs chosen should be joyful and pleasant. Flowers or heart shapes, either printed or embroidered are suitable. Lace adds to the romantic quotient.

Fabric with at least 210 thread counts per inch is smoother and finer. 100% cotton breathes well, although polyester and cotton mix is more crease resistant and can do without ironing after washing. Satiny and silky material can feel luxurious and sexy…

And if your budget allows, you can always go for 100% combed Egyptian cotton!

install bridal bed

install bridal bed


Chinese Bridal Bed Taboos

Except for children who are thought to bless the couple with fertility, no other adult should sit or rest on the bridal bed after its installation and before the chinese wedding.

It is also taboo for the bride to lie on the bridal bed before the chinese wedding. It is believed that this will lead to her poor health.

If the groom has to sleep on the installed bridal bed before the chinese wedding, he should be accompanied by a young boy.

It is considered extremely unlucky to leave one side of the bed empty while the groom sleeps on the other side. The Taiwan chinese has a saying; [睏空舖,不死尪,亦死某] which means leaving one side of the bed empty is to curse death on either half of the new couple.


When to install the bridal bed?

Some chinese believe that it is important to choose an auspicious date and time to install the bridal bed, as a new branch of the family is starting on it!

As most prefer not to disturb the bed after it has been “installed”, the auspicious date chosen is usually during the week before the chinese wedding.


Who to install the bridal bed?

A good fortune woman, one whose husband and children are all alive and has grandchildren, may install the bridal bed.


How to install the bridal bed?

The bridal bed is moved slightly to symbolize its installation. The good fortune woman will make the bed with the new set of bridal bed linen.

After making the bed, the good fortune woman will leave on it a plate with

  • even number of tangerines or oranges,
  • dried longans,
  • dried red dates,
  • dried persimmons,
  • pak hup (dried magnolia petals),
  • dried lotus seeds,
  • sprigs of pomegranate leaves, and
  • two red packets.

persimmonlotusdateslongan

The dried longans, dried red dates and dried persimmons are sweet and will bless the marriage with sweetness.

Pak hup [百合] stands for [百年好合], hundred years of harmony in the marriage. The lotus seeds [莲子] and pomegranate [番石榴/红花] leaves bless the union with fertility.

Chinese also believe that pomegranate leaves have the power to ward off evil. The oranges and red packets are for good fortune.


Don’t forget the bedside lamps.

She will then light a pair of bedside lamps. In chinese, lamp [灯 “deng”] has the similar sound as son [丁 “ding”]. So lighting the lamps, [添灯] is symbolic of adding sons [添丁] to the family.

These lamps are not to be turned off until wedding night. If they are batteries operated, it is not necessary to replace the batteries when they run out, even before wedding night.

red table lamps

red table lamps

For this purpose, bridal supply shops in Singapore usually carry small batteries operated lamp styled after kerosene-oil lamp used during 1960s-1970s. See picture above.

If these clashes with your bridal room decor, any other type of lamps are suitable, crystal, glass, paper, etc. err…the lava lamps do seem a bit weird.

But what a good time to check out those cute cartoon character lamps such as Hello Kitty’s or Sanrio’s Little Twin Stars bedside lamps!


What! Invite kids to jump on the 100% Egyptian combed cotton sheets…

Immediately after installing the bridal bed or on the wedding day, little children are invited to roll on the bed to bless the couple with fertility. To encourage them to get on the bed, they are allowed to eat the sweet stuff on that plate the good fortune woman has left on the bed.

This is referred to as [压床] ”ya chuang” or [翻床] “fan chuang”.

Remember to give red packets to the good fortune woman and children for their help.


Someone told you something about chickens under the bridal bed?

Yes, in the past, but not anymore unless you are from some rural communities that still keeps live chicken in backyards.

During the bride’s home visit in the past, at least a pair of live chickens was brought as gifts to the bride’s parents. The bride’s parent’s return gifts to the groom will also include a pair of live chicken to “lead the way” back [带路鸡].

When the couple returned from the bride’s home visit, the chickens were released under the bridal bed. That’s why grains or beans were included on the plate left on the bridal bed or scattered under the bed in some chinese communities. The chickens will scamper under the bed, eager for the snack.

It was believed that the firstborn will be a boy if the rooster came out from under the bed first.


Chinese wedding banquet

Chinese wedding banquets are traditionally paid for by the groom’s parents. The bride’s parents and relatives are invited guests.

It is traditional for the bride’s parents to ask for a few tables at the wedding banquet during the wedding negotiations. It is considered as part of the bride’s price.

Toasting at wedding banquet

Toasting at wedding banquet

The number of tables asked for may range from five to as many as twenty. With rising costs of wedding banquet, this big ticket item frequently becomes a sore point in wedding negotiations.

Nosey friends and relatives on both sides will frequently ask about the number of tables agreed upon as they like to pass judgments on the generosity of the groom’s parents or greediness of the bride’s parents based on this.

Chinese wedding dinner setting

Chinese wedding dinner setting

To avoid looking greedy some bride’s parents will only ask for a few token tables, say between five or seven and pay for the rest of the tables themselves. Hence chinese wedding banquets are now typically co-hosted events.

Modern day financially independent bride and groom will also pay for their own tables for inviting their friends and colleagues.

drinking to wedding bliss

drinking to wedding bliss

For chinese, preserving the face of one’s relative is very important. Some think having more guest means being more influential and wealthy. Some feel that if the bride’s side has too many guests compared with the groom’s side it will embarrass the groom’s parents.

So when the bride’s parents has so much more quest to invite that the bride’s and groom’s quest are unable to balance out the numbers, they may choose to have separate wedding banquets.

sending off guest at wedding banquet

sending off guest at wedding banquet

At the wedding banquet hosted by the groom’s parents the bride’s parents will only have their closest relatives and friends. At the wedding banquet hosted by the bride’s parents they will invite the groom’s parents and some of the groom’s close relatives as guest-of-honor.